Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
