I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
