He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
