And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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