True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
