it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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