lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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