What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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