i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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