Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
