i can't believe i had my finger in that
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
