We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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