I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
