well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this beer tastes like vomit already
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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