if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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