i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
