just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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