I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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