My brain says no but my pants say off.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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