he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
