you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
