Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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