you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
