im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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