Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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