haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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