In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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