your room smells of hookers.
And success
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
