That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
