Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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