Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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