I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
