Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
