Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
