I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
