I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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