Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
