just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
