he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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