Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
