i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We're not piercing ourselves today.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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