Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
