I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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