you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
