Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
