i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
