Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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