my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
