just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
