I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
