time to smoke my breakfast
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
