Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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