I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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